jeez....today is a damn tiring day....don wanna talk bout it anymore.....wanna go sleep le....ciao guys....
Wrote down my thoughts @ 5:07 AM.
this is the 3
th day she have left for NS......jeez y do
Malaysia have such law saying that
ppl who r randomly pick have to go NS???....
WTF is this???.....this is stupid....anyway its very hard for me.....i dun want to be the third party....but yet i still have feelings for her....how can i prevent myself from getting deeper into this shit....i just cant forgot the days we spent together and when we talked.....
......maybe i will wait for her....and keep a distance in the meanwhile.....hope Chinese new year come faster so i can talk to her again....
Wrote down my thoughts @ 5:06 AM.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
hey people....i m back...today is one of the best days i had ever since the day i came back to Malaysia.....i didn't have to do much housework today....then went shopping with my mom....and met up with my aunt....
and my study desk was delivered here to my my house today....finally.....
.....sunshine had gone to the NS for the 2th day already.....for the 1st day i almost gone buts....today i miss her talking to me so much...
i wonder how m i gonna pull through 3 months without her....well able or not able to.....i have to stay strong for her...promised her i would....lol....i feel so sorry for grace....she can only be online on Saturday only...life really suck without sunshine.....no sunshine ,no moonlight.....
Wrote down my thoughts @ 5:51 AM.
here the things that happened...
1)scolding for nothing
2)being push the blame to...
3)cant get my o level results...
4)got ignore by someone
5)got drag out of house to go somewhere i don want.....
6)EMPTINESS...
7)wrote a letter next....
Wrote down my thoughts @ 5:38 AM.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
So here I go, and there you went again.Just another stupid thing that I've done wrong.Locked up in my head, knocked down, beaten, left for deadWith all those brilliant things I should have said.
I gotta get away, and find something to do'Cause everything I hear, everything I see, reminds me of you.
Still counting the days I've been without you. 1, 2, 3, 4...Still counting the days that you've been gone.
Day one, was no fun.
Day two, I hated you.
By day three I wish you'd come right back to me.Day four, five and six, well I guess you just don't give a shit.Day seven, this is hell. this is hell.
I gotta get away, and find something to do.But everything I hear, everything I see, reminds me of you.
Still counting the days I've been without you. 1, 2, 3, 4...Still counting the days that you've been gone.
Still counting the days since you left me. 1, 2, 3, 4...Still counting the days since you've been gone.
A thousand things I wanna say to you, but it's too late now.
A thousand things I wanna say...
A thousand things I wanna say to you, but it's too late now.
A thousand things I wanna say...
Still counting the days I've been without you.
Still counting the days that you've been gone.
Still counting the days I've been without you. 1, 2, 3, 4...
Still counting the days that you've been gone.
(a thousand things I wanna say...)
Still counting the days since you left me. 1, 2, 3, 4...
Still counting the days that you've been gone.(Gone... Gone... Gone... Gone...)
this song is dedicated to her.....missed calling her 'sunshine'......so here the song for u sunshine....counting the days by goldfinger....
Wrote down my thoughts @ 5:16 AM.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
life will still suck.....well at least when i get good grades for my o level.......gah....morning and afternoon is still the same.....housework and nagging...at night went to the night market with my mom,sis,vivian,jackie,and
whatshernameagian?......and i hate myself.....i just cant mae myself stay angry for long......jeez.....or was i just masking my grudge from her.....
......
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
hate......who should i hate myself or her....
anyway was lso expect vian sis to come but she didnt turn up.....oh well ....lol.....
nite ppl.....
Wrote down my thoughts @ 6:37 AM.
.......had dreams bout y o level .....2 days in a row.....i really hope i have done wel for my Os.....anyway....didnt have to do much housework today.....went to get a new desk....expecting it to be deliver in a week time.....actually missed talking to her.....missed the days we laughed at the lame jokes....ah....she and my sis keeps saying that her younger is a better match for me.....
i don know wat i shold do bout it...i somehow hae this feeling that if i fall for her sis.....i m using her as a substitude...though its nth wrong with falling for her......but it dosnt feel rite....but her sis is quite pretty...and it seems to me that we have a lot of things in common.....i was pretty cold to 'sunshine'.....she is the 'sunshine'.....maybe i owe her a 'sorry'.....maybe i m jealous.....its not her faut....will this torment ever end?......
Wrote down my thoughts @ 6:08 AM.
hey guys.....back to blogging....do still feel a little pissed off now and then...had to help my mom in she bullshit garden stuff.....and later i got drag along to the outside world....jeez....the thing the keeps me thinking of .....is 11
jan to 13
jan when the o level results r out....my sis actually told me that she actually got attached to someone else.....unexpected.....i was like
watever......then later i realised that my heart was punched......more than punched....lucky i went playing basketball with my cousin,and forgot that sadness that overwhelmed me early......now that my sis mentioned it agian....its back agian.....i feel like crap now.....nothing....its like the light betrayed me and the shadows r my ally now......actually its like they always hink that i m a kid.....and i m not serious...thinking that i m a filrt.....to hell with it,i m not.......those r real feelings back there in sunway....actually she inspired one of my drawings too......anyway she does'nt like emo guys ......so....i guess i should move on......it does'nt worth a shit thinking of it.....
-cheer up Allen-san-
'what does the shadow wills?'
Wrote down my thoughts @ 5:22 AM.
